It’s Friday (or twenty-five to Friday anyway) which means it’s time for Friday Fictioneers!
For those who don’t know, this is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle!
Here’s the picture:
Copyright-Roger Cohen
And here’s my tiny tale (I have a feeling the picture is of a pair of double basses but for my purposes, they’re cellos). Be warned, this one’s a bit odd – it might even be too odd. I’ll be interested to see what you think.
Millicent Plays The Cello
The arrival of the cello coincided with the music teacher’s mysterious departure. Milly was thrilled. She hated her music teacher, a creepy old pervert who leered at her and whispered “Milli-scent,” breathing in deeply through his nose. In composition class, the girls chalked the corners of their desks, felt him lean in beside them and breathe on their necks, then giggled at his chalky groin.
Milly was alone in the classroom. As her legs stretched wide to accommodate the cello, she swore she heard a gasp, but dismissed it. She brushed the chalk from her skirt and began to play.
(100 words)
Click the blue frog to read more stories from other fictioneers.
Wow. Bravo! I think it’s very erotic and a little eerie. I enjoyed this very much. Well done.
Thanks Bumble – a ‘Wow’ and a ‘Bravo’ – I’m overwhelmed! I was a bit nervous about posting this one so your comments have reassured me. Thanks
I really liked it! I thought about your story long after actually, and wish I would have thought of something like yours.
Argh! That is so creepy, I was visibly cringing at the end, you can’t stop there!! Talk about saying a lot without saying a lot. Well done!
Definitely creepy, especially since I believe the cello to be the incarnation or something of the teacher. Yuk! That’s enough to put you off music for good.
Yes, that’s it! He is the cello – I’m so pleased you got this. If I’d had 200 words I could have made it more obvious. Thanks so much for commenting!
I didn’t get that he was the cello until second time around after reading the comment as I’m a bit of a thickie, but on first reading I could see him leering at her (and other things) from a cupboard nearby. Now I feel even worse. He’s the cello. HE’S THE CELLO!
Really interesting. I don’t think it’s too odd. A bit strange, but good all the same.
Thanks Jackie. I was going to do something about cellos smooching in a cupboard but this idea just came to me and I had to write it. What does that say about my mind that I come up with things like this?!
It says you have a writer’s mind! Very creative. Let it run wild.
I think I have had some really disturbing images come to min, thank-you very much. You’re right. It is odd. Well done, though!
Sorry to fill your mind with disturbing images. I like odd! thanks for your comments.
“Milli-scent… oh ewww..! very well-written story.. creepy but so so good ^^
It creeped me out writing it too – where do these things come from?
well duh, from your brilliance, obviously ^^
Thanks for the kind and generous words on my story. Very kind. Glad you enjoyed it. Didn’t think your story was odd. Very creative and great, twistied, lech of a character you created. As tastefully as I can say this, I think that cello is right where that creepy old pervert wants it. You have a wicked imagination. Ron
Thanks Ron. I meant every word – I was blown away by your story. (Just realised I’m not even following you – have rectified it now! Looking forward to reading more
) And I agree about the cello – if I’d had a few more words I would have drawn the ‘legs’ part out a bit – so we’ve all been spared my twisted imagination by the constraints of 100 words!
Ok, creepy! Well done.
Thanks Turnip – I’ve not tried creepy before but it appears I’m a natural – now I just have to work out if that’s a good thing…
One word: Ew.
That’s not meant negatively, by the way. Just meant to say you effectively wrote a creepy story!
Thank you! I didn’t take it negatively. ‘Ew’ is the perfect response to this story
OMG – very original, very erotic. You’re not EL James masquerading as EL Appleby are you? No, too good for that. That “milli-scent” bit was so pervily erotic. Really good.
Yuk! Definitely not EL James – I promise! Thank you so much for your comments – glad you liked (if that’s the right word) the ‘Mili-scent’ bit!
That opening line is superb! The pacing is perfect… twisted and quirky at the same time.
Thanks, Emma, glad you enjoyed it.
Ooh, definitely creepy. This is so creative – the chalk dust as a “breadcrumb trail” is inspired!
thanks Joanna – sadly the chalk dust is partially true – we used it on a pervy Geography teacher when I was young. Yuk!
I did wonder if there had been some personal ‘experience’ involved! Yuck indeed …
Creeeeeeepy I think there’s another story of how the music teacher changed into a cello. I’m going to take a shower after reading that. Well done, El.
Thank you. This could easily be a 500 word story – I was going to try to have him practicing the Black Arts or something but I just couldn’t fit it all in. 100 words is hard!
Such a good idea for a story, and beautifully crafted. You mentioned in an earlier reply that you were worried it was too subtle – but I don’t think so at all. Lovely, lovely writing.
Wow! Thank you, claireful, for your lovely comments – means a lot to me
Brilliant. It’s creepy and imaginative. I love this story.
Thank you so much. Really glad you enjoyed it.
Great story. The cello has been described as the closest sounding instrument to the male human voice. Your story proves the comparison goes deeper than this. : )
Thanks, Mike – I didn’t know that about the cello – you’ve just made the story even creepier!
Creepy good fun. So glad to see you joined the group during my break. I really enjoyed reading your brilliant take on this week’s prompt.
Thank you. I look forward to reading more of your stories in the coming weeks.
You wove this story perfectly, and I think many of us will have experienced a lecherous teacher, which makes it all the more creepy and personal. Excellent work.
Thanks, Anne, for your lovely comments – hopefully there are a few less creepy teachers around these days!
Creepy, I like it!
thanks jodie
Erotic literature, I guess the teacher got his hearts desire then. Nice one
He probably got bored of being a cello after a while though
Creepy.
Yep, very! thanks for commenting
Very well done. Just amazing with the ideas one come up with. I will definitely look different on cello players after this.
thanks brudberg – I was going to do something on two cellos having a cuddle in a cupboard but then this idea came to me (God knows where from) and the rest is blog history! Glad you enjoyed it but sorry if I’ve ruined cello players for you!
Well I did the cuddling cello one. But a lot of others have done it too. Always go for the unique.
nice work, great characterization.
Thanks train-whistle. Really enjoyed yours too
Dear El,
Perhaps the music teacher got his wish?
yours was an entirely original and absolutely wonderful tale. Intriguing, though provoking, creepy and very, very cool.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks Doug – what amazing comments! Loved your stories too.
Very well written. I loved the way you set the ending up. You’re a very talented writer.
Thank you! What a lovely comment – I might even frame that one
i’m going to secretly enjoy this for a while. well done.
That’s a slightly creepy comment, rich, and a perfect complement to a creepy story
that’s the first time i’ve been called creepy. today.
Oooh!