I’m done apologising for my madness – I thought it was curable, but apparently not. Scroll down for this week’s picture and my latest trip into insanity.
It might take me a while to read other stories, comment and reply to comments this week – I’m stuck with the worst internet connection in the world while we wait for a new router. I will manage it somehow, though, even if it means going to McDonald’s and stealing some of their wifi (of course I won’t be indulging in any of their cowburgers, I much prefer the horseburgers we get in the supermarket).
For those who don’t know, Friday Fictioneers is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle! Check out the link at the end of my story to see what other fictioneers did with this week’s prompt.
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copyright-David Stewart
Contents May Settle In Transit
Adam read the instructions on the packet, hoping it would be the answer to his prayers. He’d been praying a lot lately. Mainly he prayed for a companion, one who wasn’t afraid of snakes because he’d seen a big one in the garden.
‘Adam’s Rib Powder,’ he read. Personalised – nice touch. ‘To create companion, sprinkle liberally on spare rib.’
Adam sniffed the contents, his nose twitching at the sugary spicy smell. He sneezed. The packet tipped. The powder cascaded down his leg.
‘Oh crap,’ said Adam.
His ankle bubbled, fizzed and grew into the First Woman.
‘Typical man,’ she sighed.
(100 words)
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Need more Friday Fiction? Click the blue frog to read more stories from other fictioneers!
Thank you, Sandra! I love the double smileys
Madness, but I love it.
Yes, I fear I may have lost it
Ooh, I like this! Highly creative, and so funny, too! Keep doin’ what you’re doin’
And good luck with the internet access – that would drive me nuts all by itself….
Thanks Joanna – one day I might surprise you all and get serious, but I doubt it! As for the internet – it’s only staying on for five minutes max at the moment. I’m not even sure it’s going to last to the end of this comm
Excellent. Made me laugh!
Thank you! I love making people laugh
LOL crazy! love it. ^^ haha
Thanks kz. Glad I made you LOL
Dear El,
Once more you have me laughing out loud. Just like a man not to follow directions.
So they have McDonald’s in England? I humblest apologies for America’s “fine dining.”
Shalom,
Rochelle
HI Rochelle
I’m glad I made you laugh again
As for McDonald’s, sadly they are everywhere. Our nearest is next to our local sports centre – what kind of message does that give?! We have worse than McDonald’s though, we have Tesco supermarkets destroying our High Street businesses and small shops across the land – no longer are we a nation of shopkeepers. I’m ranting. I’ll stop.
thanks for your lovely comments
Too funny E.L. What an imagination.
Thanks Joe – I worry for my own sanity but if you’re still enjoying it, I’ll risk it
Funny! I don’t think you suffer from madness; weirdness perhaps, and that good!
Phew! Thanks Ruth. Not insane then – just weird. I think I can handle that
Every week I look forward to dropping in to see what you’ve created and once again, you didn’t disappoint. I love everything about this but in view of your intro, are you sure it’s not a McRib instead?
Just horsing around,
janet
Thanks Janet. I’m so thrilled that you look forward to reading my FF offerings. You can be my regular, I’ll get you a pint in next Friday
Oh, and definitely not a McRib – this story is set before original sin after all!
Oh, yeah, I’m ready for a pint–Guinness or something else dark for preference. I’ll look forward to that!
We just got back from a place called World Of Beer, with 47 or so beers on tap. And I mean real beers–no Bud/Miller/Coors Light! These are artisan beers from all over. Really good. Stop by sometime.
fantastic!
Fabulous comment! Thank you
Dear Elappleby,
That ‘sugary spicy smell’ was a trap. I enjoyed your story to the point of laughter. Thank you. Does his ankle now disappear?
C. Hase
Hi C Hase
I’m glad I made you laugh. I’m not sure if the ankle disappears. I believe in the original story he removes the rib and then it becomes the woman, so I assume the ankle becomes the woman and he is stuck with her until he can find a way to separate them. Maybe with a saw? Ouch!
Hilarious!
Thanks Ted – glad you liked it.
I was wondering where it was going as I read it, then the last line had me laughing out loud literally. Great job El! As usual you are a great story teller. I’m so proud!
Thank you Jackie. Yay, I made you laugh out loud! You should be proud – or guilty – look what you’ve done to me
Nice…!
Ta, t.
Lol
I made you lol? Excellent
How different! very good
Thank you – I like being different
still laughing, and will for awhile. this is priceless. thank you for this perfect piece of humor.
Thank you for reading – I’m thrilled you enjoyed it so much
This is as clever as it is funny!
Very well done
Thanks Parul. Glad you enjoyed it!
Wow. This was quite amusing and creative.
Thank you
I like this!
thanks!
Let the madness flow, I laughed out loud over this. On the positive dining side, I haven’t heard of mad-horse disease
Fabulous – I’m so pleased I made you laugh. And you’re right – perhaps horse is the way to go!
I love your sense of the ridiculous and your great humour, long may it remain. I’m right beside you on your Tesco rant; too many small towns are losing the beating heart that was their High Street.You always cheer me up. ♦♦♦
Thanks 40again, for your lovely comments. I hope to continue amusing you for a long time
As for Tesco’s (you’re going to start me off again), they opened opposite a long standing delicatessen in my town and carefully selected the same or similar products with the express intention of closing the place down. (I ought to add the word ‘allegedly’ just in case). It’s only a matter of time before we’re living in Tescoland…
Thank you! I like your smiley – how did you do that?
I love this. Perfect! Funny! Creative! Great work!
Tom
Thanks Tom – glad you enjoyed it.
Haha! Love this
Thanks!
LOL. As she said, ‘Typical man.’ Love the way you set it up with the snake in the garden – so disarming.
Thanks – although I can’t really claim credit for ‘Typical man’ – it was my husband’s idea, he suggested she should say something sexist, I originally had her saying ‘Bloody idiot!’ – I will pass on your praise
Glad you enjoyed it.
So clever,,,so funny…so glad you wrote this! Though I am amazed he read the instructions at all
So true
Amazing… I really like the instruction.. Maybe first woman should be happy he didn’t follow instructions… I see miss Piggy coming instead of Eve.
I think she’ll get fed up of being attached to his ankle pretty soon – and then he’ll have to think of a way to separate them. Thanks for commenting!
Very cute. Just leave her on his ankle!
Thanks Perry – I’m not sure which would be more painful, leaving her on or cutting her off!
Great, funny, story! I loved the first words she spoke.
Thanks claireful. Glad you enjoyed it
well done. typical man. in this line: ” ‘To create companion sprinkle liberally…” might be good to use a comma after “companion.” if you read it aloud you’ll hear there needs to be a pause there.
Thanks rich. You’re right about the comma. I really should remember to read my stuff out loud more often. Much appreciated.
glad to help
Oh, I like this! I bet the girl ain’t afeard of snakes. I can’t imagine how you came up with this story from the photo prompt, very ingenious. You know I always thought God had to be a woman – it’s the only way she could have come up with this
.
Hello again Iris!
I don’t know how I came up with this either! I must have a very strange brain. I’m also always scared that I’m going to come up with an idea that other Fictioneers have thought of, so try really hard to think outside the box. This one, though, was so far out of the box it was down the road having tea with a neighbour
Isn’t it cool how you can surprise yourself? That is what I love about creativity. And I haven’t seen two Fictioneers come up with the same idea yet, have you?
like the touch of the ‘sugary spicy smell’
Thanks – it was my favourite bit too