Friday Fiction: Spring Cleaning in Santa Zita

I’ve got the day off work today, so plenty of time to dedicate to a fantastic foray into Friday Fiction (sorry, I seem to have gone alliteration-mad lately).

Last week I cheated massively by hyphenating the entire last sentence, but this week I’ve been good and there’s not a single hyphen (even though I was sorely tempted).

Oh, and despite my threats, Helena, nobody dies this week :)
_______________________________________________________________________________________________

 

http://rochellewisofffields.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/dee-2.jpg?w=480&h=360

Copyright D Lovering

Spring Cleaning in Santa Zita

The townsfolk of Santa Zita were a bunch of lazy bastards who couldn’t be arsed to maintain the exteriors of their homes. Instead, once a year, the mayor selected a handful of men to accompany him on a pilgrimage to the highest mountain in the land, to pray to the Great Cleaning Lady In The Sky.

‘Oh Majestic Domestic,’ they implored, poetically. ‘Grace us with the lustre of your giant feather duster!’

‘And wear that French Maid outfit again!’ the mayor squeaked, barely containing his excitement.

And the men sat on the mountain, eyes to the skies, and waited.

 

(99 words)

Saint Zita is the patron saint of maids and domestic servants. So we know who to pray to when we’ve run out of clean undies :)

________________________________________________________________________________________________

For those who don’t know, Friday Fictioneers is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle! Check out the link below to see what other fictioneers did with this week’s prompt.

Need more Friday Fiction? Click the blue frog to read more stories from other fictioneers!

85 thoughts on “Friday Fiction: Spring Cleaning in Santa Zita

  1. I wonder what their wives, if they have them, think of this foolishness. They’re probably happy to get rid of those men for a while and throw a party. Very funny as usual. :)

  2. OH MAJESTIC DOMESTIC!… Giant feather duster… Wear that French Maid outfit again…. These, along with hot apple streudel and schnitzel with noodles are now among my favourite things.

  3. Sooooo hilarious from the first line to the last! I have a similar attitude. That’s why I hire a girl to come in and clean my place every two weeks since I have no wife and it’s hard to find good help among the elves these days …

    Laugh-out-loud wonderful, EL. That tiny sabbatical did you some good. ;)

  4. oh god that was hilarious. :) i read somewhere in the “rules for good writing” that one must “always avoid alliteration”. whoever wrote that rule was nuts, coz when done right, i love it. :)

    • I love ‘always avoid alliteration’ – I’ll remember that along with ‘a preposition should never be used to end a sentence with’ :)
      So glad you liked my silly tale.

  5. ‘Majestic Domestic’ – inspired combination. Reckon you should enter a polish (the kind you spray on furniture, not the country) competition and win a fab prize… Love the story. They seem to be getting better and better!

  6. It’s amazing all the different things people see when they look at this picture. :) Great story and I hope she responds, for their sake. I love the mayor’s little addition. Reminds me of Joe Quimby, womanizing mayor in The Simpsons.

    • Hi David
      I love the different takes on the prompt each week. Although it turns out, mine wasn’t the only giant feather duster this week!
      thanks for your comments

  7. I absolutely love your term “Majestic Domestic” How clever you are! Great story, and the Mayor would agree that I belong in Santa Zita! Good story! Nan :)

  8. I started laughing with the first line and it got better and better (the story, I mean, not my laughing) Such delicious irony that the townsfolk of Santa Zita are the ones most in need of St Zita. Maybe they should just change the name of their town instead to Perezoso Bastardos. :) to have the converse effect :)

  9. 99 words? how about throwing in “hot” before “french maid outfit”? yeah, do that. please? pretty please? i wonder if there’s a spanish maid outfit. can you write about that next week, if there is one? if not, can you create one? google images? victoria’s secret? well done.

    • Hi Rich
      Lovely to hear from you again, and I see your obsession with the 100 word limit hasn’t changed :D
      A Spanish maid outfit, hmmm… I see frills and castanets – could be interesting…

  10. This is fantastic, and I especially enjoyed how you characterized the mayor. I’ve been praying to the Great Cleaning Lady in the Sky as well. She has yet to make an appearance this year…Maybe it’s because last year I asked her to replace her feather duster with a Swiffer 360 duster. You know, for efficiency purposes. So sensitive…

  11. Brilliant! After reading your story I think the Majestic Domestic responded to their prayers by toilet papering their town, Take that you lazy bastards she laughed.

    • Thanks Lisa
      I always allow the picture to simmer in my head for a few hours, and scribble notes on scraps of paper when they come to me. Majestic Domestic popped into my head when I was washing up (and being a very unmajestic domestic!) – I wrote it down, and then ‘lustre’ and ‘duster’ and the whole thing started to take shape.
      Thanks for commenting, I love it when my stories make people laugh :)

  12. A crazy fun tale! I love the mayor. He’s pushing his luck a bit, though I guess it’s worth a try.
    You’ve made me feel guilty about being “a bit behind” with the hoovering now :-)

  13. So funny. What do the women on Santa Zita do then? Not that I’m gender stereotyping or anything. There is so much to love about this – your opening sentence, the idea of a majestic domestic. Your stories are a joy to read each week!

  14. And they never heard from the Cleaning Lady in the Sky…
    Wait a minute, by the time they returned, their wives/daughters must have cleared up all the mess! :)
    Imagine crediting it to their prayer on the mountain!

  15. Absolutely brilliant. ‘Majestic Domestic’ I’m still laughing.
    Your humour and lightness of touch is just so clever.
    Well done
    Dee

  16. What a funny story! So much better than adding to the body count, although there are occasionally times and places for the more macabre flashes. I didn’t know about Saint Zita, and I’m not a great housekeeper these days. Sounds like I need to do some praying. :-)

    Cheers!
    Marie Gail

  17. Hi, it’s Nan again. Am I not supposed to use hyphens when writing? I thought that they were legal forms of expression. Just asking if you know, Thanks! Nan :)

    • Hi Nan
      If you’re referring to my intro, the ‘illegal’ aspect was turning twenty words into one by the process of hyphenation! Genuine hyphens are fine. But the truth is there is no illegal or legal in FF. Just a lot of fun playing :)

Leave a reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s