Friday Fiction – Don’t Blink

This is my first Friday Fictioneers – and I’m blaming JackieP for this. I’ve been following her Friday offerings for a while and finally plucked up the courage to join in – so be gentle with me!

For those who don’t know, this is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play.

Here’s the picture:

Copyright-Rich Vosa

And here is my little offering (105 words I think, so nearly there!)

Don’t Blink

If I can just get to the end of the corridor then I’ll wake up. I know I will. There’s ten doors to the end. I’ve counted them many times.
I walk forward, staring straight ahead, running my hand along the wall as I count. The wall is warm to the touch, the doors cold, hard, lacquered wood. One door, two doors, three doors. Getting closer. My eyes are hurting, but I won’t close them. Not this time. Four doors, five.
I blink.
The scene resets.
One door, two doors… if I can just get to the end of the corridor then I’ll wake up.

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37 thoughts on “Friday Fiction – Don’t Blink

  1. Great story! And thank you for the shout out. This story reminds me of some of my favorite mystery stories. Creepy and hoping they don’t blink. 🙂

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  2. Yay! Welcome!! Glad you joined us. This reminds me of mine, with the hall resetting itself. The endless corridor. Will he ever make it the end, and then what happens next?! Great job!

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    • Thank you! The photo has that eerie sense of endlessness, doesn’t it? It’s been really interesting seeing different people’s interpretations of it.

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      • Yes, that’s what I thought of, too. The endlessness of it. That’s the best part of this group for me. It’s amazing how many stories can come from a single photo. Welcome to the group.

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  3. Welcome! Nothing good going on here (except how the story’s written, of course.) It also reminds me of a bad dream that you have over and over which is also not good, although preferable to this!!

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      • yes, there are many weeks when FF is ALL i can do creatively (so to speak) – it’s a very nice prompt to set aside at least a little bit of time each week to do what one loves most, IF one can’t set all the time one’s love needs

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  4. Welcome, I’m quite new myself in this game. And I now spend all Friday evening reading through all the great entries. The eerie side we share.. I liked yours.

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    • Thank you. I think you did a better job than me of describing the endlessness of it. Really enjoyed your story. It’s quite a challenge to get it down to 100 words and still get the ideas in your head across to the reader.

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  5. oh come on. you can easily cut five words.

    I walk forward, staring straight ahead, running my hand along the wall as I count.

    walking forward, eyes ahead, running my hand along the wall while counting.

    that saved three. you can cut two more.

    well done.

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  6. Welcome to the party, pal. (That’s my traditional greeting to newcomers and it’s what Bruce Willis’ character John McClane said to the Twinkie eating cop after he dropped a dead body on his windshield from way up in the nakatomi Tower.) An apt metaphor for our group.

    You story was the perfect never ending nightmare and was well rendered. Toothpicks under the eyelids. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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  7. Hi – Welcome to FF family. Your story reminded me of the frustrating dream I had for many years. Running and running and not getting anywhere. Suddenly, the dream stopped. Wonder why. Nice work. Looking forward to reading more.

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  8. Dark and creepy, all you need is one of your excellent black comic lines and this would be the perfect microcosmic example of the way I think you write best. I can almost hear you cricking and cracking your knuckles ready for next Friday. Well done.

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