Friday Fiction – The Dog and The Tree (Translated from the original by EL Appleby)

For those who don’t know, Friday Fictioneers is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle! Check out the link at the end of my story to see what other fictioneers did with this week’s prompt.

This week I cheated – massively.


From Scott Vanatter with permission-Copyrigh-  Indira
From Scott Vanatter with permission – Copyright Indira

The Dog and The Tree (Translated from the original by EL Appleby)

Tree was mostly happy with his lot, he had plenty of sun and his dear friend, Stream, flowed beneath his roots. If it wasn’t for that damned dog, everything would be perfect.

‘Woof!’ [1] said Dog, as he cocked his leg and pissed all over Tree’s knobbly trunk, ‘Woof-woofy-woof-woof!’ [2]

Tree had an idea, he whispered it to Stream, ‘Rustley-rustle-rustle?’ [3]

And Stream replied ‘Whoosh-trickly-whoosh-whoosh-wooshy-wooshy-woo.’ [4]

The next day, Dog came bounding along and lifted his leg, ‘Woof! Woof-woofy-woof-woof!’

Stream, who’d been holding his breath for a good hour, aimed a burst of icy water at Dog’s privates.

‘Yelp!’ [5] said Dog.

‘Rustle-rrrustle-rustle!’ [6] giggled Tree.

(100 words – translations below for those who don’t speak Doggish, Treese or Streamese)

[1] Hiya!

[2] Love ya, Tree, I really really love ya!

[3] Hey, Stream, I’ve got a plan to sort that damned dog out once and for all, you in?

[4] Ok.

[5] Fuck me, that’s cold!

[6] Best. Fun. Ever.



Need more Friday Fiction? Click the blue frog to read more stories from other fictioneers!

78 thoughts on “Friday Fiction – The Dog and The Tree (Translated from the original by EL Appleby)

  1. Excellent. Have you been on the sauce again? I love the experimental nature of what you’ve done here.


    • I did think of Sammy the Gat when I wrote it!
      I don’t think Doggish is a patch on Sammy Speak though – there is no syntax or grammar (or spaces) in Doggish!


  2. there wasn’t a super like button so I can only like this ! bloody hilarious … I think the dog is one day gone pee in the stream when he looks the other way around to take revenge ! 😉
    ps: whats is your secret ? you come up with such amazing stories ! 🙂


  3. Hilarious! I always look forward to your posts, knowing I’m going to get a dose of humour or originality. And this week both! Well done.


    • Thanks Sandra
      I really enjoyed writing this one. Every week I think this’ll be the week I write something serious and literary, but all this funny keeps pouring out instead!


  4. hahaha omg i laughed so hard! i thought the first part of the story’s adorable but when i got to the translations, well it’s just i love that you’re so crazy and original ^^


  5. Great story El, very, very funny, but what was the cheat? I think you just bent the rules a little bit and we all better off for it. I think I’m going to read it again it was so good! 🙂


    • Hi Jwd
      It works out as 140 words if you include the translations – plus all the hyphens between the woofs and the rustles mean they only count as one word. So definitely a massive cheat. Sounds like I got away with it though 😀
      Thanks for your lovely comments!


  6. I agree, you did cheat this week.. But this so so cute and adorable!
    Just the kind of prank you’d expect a bored tree and steam to play on a clingy dog! Lol


    • Hi Sheila
      Yes, I’m not sure everyone saw it, but that poor dog was only trying to show the tree how much he loved it! I think he may be off to find a new tree to befriend now.
      thanks for commenting 🙂


  7. Haha – easily my favorite so far. I loved the way it started with a sort of mythological tone, loosened up with the conversation between the tree and the stream, and then has a great finish (great job with the tree giggle). The translations were indispensable.


    • Thanks Brian
      I’m so pleased you liked it, thanks for your lovely compliments. The translations were my favourite bit to write – glad you liked them 🙂


  8. I can’t see even to WRITE this. I’m still laughing!!!!! Just from the title ALONE, I knew I was in for it … then the translations kicked in!!!
    Why do I see Christopher Walken reading this with subtitles? (“A story … GOOD story … a FUNNY story … A GOOD FUNNY STORY!”).
    Made me want to write bad checks. Brilliant!


    • Thanks Tom – I giggled like a ten year old when I wrote the ‘Fuck me’ line, then again when I read it back. I’m probably not mature enough to use language like that. (Not that that’s going to stop me!)
      Glad you liked it 🙂


  9. Your story kicks ass — a very creative take on the photo prompt. This is funny (and fitting!) revenge on the dog. And I like that the stream’s lengthy “Whoosh trickly….” simply means “Ok”!


  10. lots of fun and very original. here’s one way to trim some words.

    Tree’s life was content. Plenty of sun. Dear friend, Stream, flowed beneath his roots. But that damned dog!
    ‘Woof!’ [1] said Dog. Leg cocked, pissing on Tree’s knobbly trunk, ‘Woof-woofy!’[2]
    Tree whispered to Stream, ‘Rustley-rustle?’ [3]
    Stream replied ‘Whoosh-trickly.’ [4]
    Next day, Dog bounded along, leg lifted, ‘Woof!’
    Stream, holding his breath for hours, sprayed icy water at Dog’s privates.
    ‘Yelp!’ [5] said Dog.
    ‘Rustle-rrrustle-rustle!’ [6] giggled Tree.


    • Thanks Rich
      I should have explained that the cheat this week was deliberate – I was bang on 100 words without the translations.
      Thanks for taking the time to try to cut it down for me, although I think it loses the flow if I take out quite so many words! I’ve promised to be good next week and stick to the wordcount.
      Thanks for commenting 🙂


  11. Oh my El! too damn funny! I thought my mind was strange, but yours matches mine! I love this…….one of your best my friend!


    • Thanks Jackie – you are lovely!
      Between you and me, I think this is my favourite – I’ve been back and read it again a couple of times, and still find myself giggling – is that sad of me?


  12. I don’t always laugh, but when i do it is with E.L.’ story. Ok, so I ripped off the Don Equiis commercial. I found this hilarious and laughed audibly. Sorry I can’t stand the stupid acronym that is terribly overused to show I laughed out loud.


  13. Thank you for the translations. This was wonderful and funny and I don’t think you cheated at all.


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