Friday Fiction: Arabella’s Secret

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Copyright - Janet Webb

Copyright – Janet Webb

Arabella’s Secret

Alone in the flat, Arabella sits at the mirror. Mother will be here soon.

The makeup-remover does its job, revealing clean pale skin beneath the layers of paint. A quick sweep through the room: makeup in the drawer, heels under the bed. But what to do with the dress?

A moment of inspiration sees the dress launched onto the fire escape. It flaps daintily in the breeze. Just in time. The doorbell rings.

Mother arrives with kisses, both cheeks. ‘Geoffrey darling,’ she says. ‘Where were you?  Where do you go on a Saturday night?’

Geoffrey kisses his mother. Both cheeks.

(100 words)

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For those who don’t know, Friday Fictioneers is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle! Check out the link below to see what other fictioneers did with this week’s prompt.

This week’s photo is courtesy of Janet Webb at This, That and the Other Thing.

I’m just back from a few days hiding in the woods in Devon in a refreshingly technology-free zone. I didn’t get a chance to read any stories last week but will try to make up for it this week. 🙂

Need more Friday Fiction? Click the blue frog to read more stories from other fictioneers!


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72 thoughts on “Friday Fiction: Arabella’s Secret

  1. I don’t think you need the last line, it works better without it and the reader can work out what’s happened. Other than that it is BRILLIANT!! I thought it was a female prostitute, your take on it is sooooo much better. It was unexpected and completely (apart from the last line) wonderful. Thank u!

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    • I’ve dumped the last line but now I think something’s missing. Hmmm….
      I’m going to have to have another think!
      thanks for your lovely and incredibly constructive comments 🙂

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  2. Mummy will have an attack of the vapours if she finds out about Geoffrey 😀 Good job, very different direction. Yes, leave the last line off…or just have “Geoffrey just smiled” keep the drama going in your readers’ mind 😉

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    • Had to google your “see you tomorrow” – we dont have Applebee’s over here – in my case See You Next Week might be more appropriate!. Thanks for your lovely comment. I enjoy bringing you WTF moments 🙂

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      • It was a compliment, naturally. The Applebee’s chain, by the way, is a national one with their headquarters in Kansas City, located Right on the way to Rochelle’s house.

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          • not to worry – I’ve been struggling to get used to a tablet over the last couple of weeks. It doesn’t make any sense to me – we invent something that works, like a computer, and then we say: let’s make it smaller, harder to use and not nearly as good (and then mugs like us buy into it 😀 )

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    • Popped over to yours for a quick read. Love your take! I’ll comment in a mo. I see mine more as a regular on the drag circuit, yours is more of a sexual awakening. Which just goes to show that even when we see the same thing the stories still come out completely different 🙂

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    • Thanks Amy. I think you’re very brave to check out the other stories before writing your own! I’d find my head too crowded with other people’s words 🙂
      Looking forward to reading yours.

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  3. Pingback: Charlotte’s Dream | Lily Mugford

  4. So that is how Stewie did it! You must tell Sophie! Ha ha ha! Poor David, if he only knew what I was trying to do to him. I liked the twist and certainly did not see it coming. Thanks for letting me drag your good name through the mud of my Sophie Marcus story. I like the way it draws the other Fictioneers in.

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        • To be honest I agree with Rochelle about serials in most cases. I prefer stories to be freestanding. But there are the occasional exceptions: yours and ‘Stewie’s’ both bring a smile to my face. (I’m going to have to stop calling him Stewie, I don’t think he’d like it very much! )

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          • Actually he laughed in his comment. It seems he is a fan of Family Guy. I am not, but can see the humor slant of the characters. Thanks for the compliment. I enjoy long fiction and just cannot help but form even 100 word pieces into a longer story. I think it is a skill i was blessed with and hard to deny.

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  5. Caught me out with that twist, I was thinking a female lady of the night – and this is so much funnier! Great read!

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    • Thanks Paul. I felt the same about Denmother’s because I already knew what it was about. I love the ‘crisp’ comment (not the Golden Wonder variety though, I hope!) – the crispness was pretty much forced by my decision to leave the gender out until the very end. I might use that technique again at some point – it makes for a very different style.
      thanks, as usual, for your honest comments 🙂

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  6. I checked out Denmother’s site after I read your comment and it’s interesting to read the two stories sequentially. Two original, clever–and very different–takes on the same theme. Both good tales.

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    • thank you. I loved Denmother’s – I thought she captured that first foray into the unknown beautifully – tense and erotic. I was a bit worried when she said she’d done a similar theme, but you’re right, they’re both completely different (phew!). thanks for your kind comments.

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  7. There’s another tale floating around out there about a man shaving his legs — I dare say his and yours may be two of my favourites this week — who knew it was all about the cross-dressing, darling?

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    • Yep, Denmother wrote a wonderful piece about a man finally succumbing to his cross-dressing desires. Thank you for saying this was a favourite – I’ll try to include a bit of cross-dressing where I can in future 😉

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  8. We were on the same wavelength this week! ha! I can’t believe it……kinda scary….see I told you I loved your mind. 😉 Great story. You have a great writing ability my friend.

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    • I didn’t realise I hadn’t replied to this – I seem to remember we had a good old chat over at your place though. What would be scary is if we write a similar tale this week…

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      • no worries as we did have a nice chat over here. I will try not to tap into your creative mind this week. 😉 haha! But you know, great minds and all that.

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    • the original last line was really obvious – insulting my readers’ ability to work it out for themselves. The first two commenters were right – it needed dumping, I’m much happier with this one.
      Thanks for commenting 🙂

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  9. Didn’t see that one coming. Well done. (I think I preferred the original, at least re-reading after clicking through from my email I was confused until I started reading the comments.)

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    • Apologies for confusing you! I prefer the new version, I think I was insulting my readers’ intelligence a little with the original last line. Thanks for popping over!

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  10. Didn’t see this one last week but I’m glad I stumled across it now. Great great story as others have said. I didn’t see the original last line but I like this version a lot.

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    • Thank you! It’s getting harder and harder to keep up with all the stories now this thing is getting so damned popular! I joined when there were around 40 people contributing, and I know you started a long time before me. Now there’s up to 100 – that’s 10,000 words to read through!! so, thanks for taking the time to find and comment on my little tale – glad you enjoyed it.

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    • Hi Joanna
      I was just about to read your story when I realised I hadn’t replied to this comment yet (let alone all the comments on my new story), so am rectifying that quickly. You’re right – you’re very lucky to live in Devon, we had a lovely time there, loads of sun and fresh air. Thanks for commenting on my story. I’m off to read yours right now!

      Like

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