Friday Fiction: If I Were A Koi


Copyright - C. Hase
Copyright – Douglas M MacIlroy

If I Were A Koi

After choking to death on a fish-bone at the Happy Plaice, Mr Gove was reincarnated as a funfair goldfish. While some may find this amusing, Mr Gove was decidedly unimpressed. The young girl who won him at the fair skipped along merrily clutching her catch. As Mr Gove bounced about inside the plastic bag, he contemplated his lot.

‘I should’ve been a Koi, at the very least!’ he grumbled. ‘This is an outrage!’

An ill-placed stone, a tumble, a grazed knee and a split bag saw Mr Gove swiftly on to his next incarnation

…as a slug.

When will he learn?

(100 words)


Disclaimer: Any resemblance between the Mr Gove in the above story and our very own fish-faced Secretary of State for Education, Michael Gove, is of course, entirely accidental. This is despite the fact that Michael Gove deserves to be reincarnated as a fish for screwing with my children’s education. Thanks to his latest ill-timed policy, my daughter’s exams have been cancelled days before she was due to sit them. Well done Mr Gove.  I wish you everything you deserve in this life and the next.

goveOK. Rant over. Let’s have some music. Here’s Beyonce singing the title song to my story: If I Were A Koi.

For those who don’t know, Friday Fictioneers is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle! Check out the link below to see what other fictioneers did with this week’s prompt.

Need more Friday Fiction? Click the blue frog to read more stories from other fictioneers!

22 thoughts on “Friday Fiction: If I Were A Koi

  1. I would be looking forward to the political exchanges between Mr ‘slug’ Gove and Ed Millipede, but it’s not that Mr Gove at all. Don’t know why I would think that. Very, very funny.


  2. Oh EL, even when you rant a story you are fun. Darn it that man should be a slug. The one pictured not the one in the story. haha! Hmm what is next after a slug? A maggot maybe? An amoeba? 😉


  3. Dear EL,

    Your story gives new meaning to the phrase, “Be careful what you wish for.” Like Jackie, I ask what he’s coming back as in his next incarnation..

    Fun stuff.




  4. Sounds like an old madrigal song we sang in college, “In These Delightful Pleasant Goves” — I’m sorry, I meant “Groves.” I need to be more “koi” at these proceedings since we all know that below the slug is the pavement.

    Fun stuff this week, El. Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly …


  5. Good for a hearty laugh. I’d say just what he deserves, but who am I to laud or question karma? Nicely wrote with a delightful ending. Now … where’s the salt?


  6. Love it! The karmic cycle begins anew, pride being displaced and humility learned. Ah, who are we kidding?! He’ll never learn! What’s worrying, is the date on this and what is still going on with him in gove-rnment!


    • If only I really had the power to turn him into a slug (although according to some of my commenters, slug is actually above politician in the karmic cycle 🙂 )
      The thing that really gets me is how the hell he has the power to make sweeping changes without consultation (as far as I can tell) with the teachers who will have to implement them. I feel a rant coming on, so I’ll stop now and go and have a cup of tea to calm myself down!


      • Tea always good to make things calmer and rearrange karma (ahem!)
        I’m a Junior school teacher, and we all feel powerless in our jobs. Whereas previously we were caring about the whole childs development, now we are rail-roaded into covering our backs with level achievements and target setting. Uh-oh, rant mode coming… I’ll see your tea and raise you coffee!! lol 🙂


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