Friday Fiction: Britain’s Burly Boy Bake Off

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Copyright – Kent Bonham

Britain’s Burly Boy Bake Off

Mary bit into the cake. On paper, Britain’s Burly Boy Bake Off had seemed like TV Gold – take a load of larger-than-life lads and stick them in a studio baking cakes. Some weren’t bad cooks either, Mary took another bite. Delicious.

But under the heat of the studio lights, things were going badly wrong, Bob “the Butcher” Branning’s butterscotch bombe had melted, giving it a pre-digested look, and Ten-Tonne-Tony’s tarte tatin was a disaster.

Still, the cake was nice. Mary took another bite. Very nice. And it made Mary care less. A lot less. Funny-floaty cake, Mary thought, funny-floaty-fluffy cake. Mmmm-funny-floaty-what’s-in-this-cake-anyway-i-need-more-cake-because-i’m-suddenly-very-very-peckish…

 

(100 words)

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For those who don’t know, Friday Fictioneers is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle! Check out the link below to see what other fictioneers did with this week’s prompt.

Need more Friday Fiction? Click the blue frog to read more stories from other fictioneers!

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51 thoughts on “Friday Fiction: Britain’s Burly Boy Bake Off

  1. Very funny and well written. I’m beginning to wonder what was in that cake that caused Mary to think it was floating. She seems a bit high (or loaded). Wonder if it was a rum cake with extra rum tossed in.

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  2. HAHAHAHAHA! What’s funnier is that I can see this happening on the air, too! And, yes, it HAS happened in some other form — we had the Jameson Irish Whiskey Company come in and we sampled some of the stuff. My co-worker and I later asked each other if we felt hot. Then, we laughed. What a great chuckle with this story here with lots of substance (probably a lot of it illegal, too!) Thanks, El!

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  3. Well done. We could almost feel the heat of the lamps the flattening failure of the hoped for Hit. Bummer about the melting morsel mishaps. Poor Mary 🙂

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  4. Made me laugh (as you invariable do). Maybe you could hash another story together for next week so we’re definitely assured of a slab of your dark, delicious humour once more 😉

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  5. Although before I got to the end I did worry that she’d made a cake using one of the bloke’s bodies. Wouldn’t put it past you… Glad you didn’t, I like cake and it might have put me off.

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  6. Dear EL,

    Glad I read the comments so I didn’t have to be the one to ask what peckish meant. I believe I’ve partaken of that cake in times past. Melt in your mouth munchie cake. Fun stuff. 😀

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    • I considered calling it Mary Gets The Munchies, but that might have spoilt the surprise. And I’m thrilled to have introduced the word ‘peckish’ to the US, it hadn’t occurred to me that it was specifically British.

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  7. Simply super stuff! Brought to mind the magic brownies people used to make “back in the day”, although they were never on my menu. Enjoyed the alliteration and just the thought of the Burly Boys. And I love “peckish!”

    janet

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    • Thanks Janet. I think some of the alliteration in the comments is better than mine! Glad you like ‘peckish’ – I hope you’ll use it often, perhaps when you sit down to a cup of tea and a biscuit 🙂

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  8. I love myself some alliteration, and you did it in a way that flowed very well and didn’t seem forced. I really enjoyed the rhythm of the writing, as I could almost feel Mary’s thoughts as if they were my own. This was highly entertaining. I’m not sure why, but I have a sudden craving for cake! 😀

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  9. As a fan of Great British Bake Off and other similar programmes, I have just only just stopped crying with laughter at the thought of Mary B on speed. I have often wondered how heavily the programmes are edited, someone has to make a totally inedible mess once in a while surely?
    Great take, loved it

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    • Hi Dee
      Your comment made my day! I did wonder if anyone would think of Mary B (or even know who she was). And I agree, they can’t all go quite so well as the final version we see.
      thank you 😀

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  10. LOL i know exactly what’s in that funny-floaty-fluffy cake. 🙂 the “Britain’s Burly Boy Bake Off” is such a hilarious idea! yet i can see it happening haha 🙂 loved your story

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  11. So funny with great imagery. Bob’s predigested butterscotch -yuk. I’ve never watched TGBBO but the idea of a presentor munching and getting the munchies is so appealing 🙂

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    • Thank you – I wasn’t sure there’d be many people who’d get the reference (and the Mary I may or may not have been referring to). Glad you enjoyed it.

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  12. Delectable dish.. God where have I been that I haven’t read you in previous FF? Under a rock that’s where. I’ma bit of an alliteration addict so this was heavenly.

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