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Britain’s Burly Boy Bake Off
Mary bit into the cake. On paper, Britain’s Burly Boy Bake Off had seemed like TV Gold – take a load of larger-than-life lads and stick them in a studio baking cakes. Some weren’t bad cooks either, Mary took another bite. Delicious.
But under the heat of the studio lights, things were going badly wrong, Bob “the Butcher” Branning’s butterscotch bombe had melted, giving it a pre-digested look, and Ten-Tonne-Tony’s tarte tatin was a disaster.
Still, the cake was nice. Mary took another bite. Very nice. And it made Mary care less. A lot less. Funny-floaty cake, Mary thought, funny-floaty-fluffy cake. Mmmm-funny-floaty-what’s-in-this-cake-anyway-i-need-more-cake-because-i’m-suddenly-very-very-peckish…
(100 words)
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For those who don’t know, Friday Fictioneers is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle! Check out the link below to see what other fictioneers did with this week’s prompt.
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EL Appleby: Brain Fragments 
Delicious alliteration, darling, as I absolutely adore such delights. Make sure Mary saves me a morsel…
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Merci muchly madam 🙂
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Very funny and well written. I’m beginning to wonder what was in that cake that caused Mary to think it was floating. She seems a bit high (or loaded). Wonder if it was a rum cake with extra rum tossed in.
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Not rum methinks, but something equally popular in Jamaica 😉
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HAHAHAHAHA! What’s funnier is that I can see this happening on the air, too! And, yes, it HAS happened in some other form — we had the Jameson Irish Whiskey Company come in and we sampled some of the stuff. My co-worker and I later asked each other if we felt hot. Then, we laughed. What a great chuckle with this story here with lots of substance (probably a lot of it illegal, too!) Thanks, El!
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Thanks Kent. It was a tricky one this week. Hope I did it justice 🙂
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You did it justice … locked it up and threw away the key!
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I take it we’re talking marijuana here? The word “peckish” doesn’t resonate in the U.S. But it sounds super delicious!
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Hi Perry
Peckish means hungry, a new word for you!
🙂
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By the way Perry – I tried to comment on your story but it wouldn’t let me! It told me my credentials weren’t recognised 😦
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Definitely a bit of hash cake there I think. Very funny.
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I couldn’t possibly comment on any illegal substance to my story 🙂 Glad I amused you!
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Ah.. any lady melts with enough rhum in the cake.. can you give me the recipe 🙂
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Rum, or something else…?
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Well done. We could almost feel the heat of the lamps the flattening failure of the hoped for Hit. Bummer about the melting morsel mishaps. Poor Mary 🙂
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Melting Morsel Mishaps would have been a great title! I’m enjoying the alliteration in the comments this week 🙂
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Made me laugh (as you invariable do). Maybe you could hash another story together for next week so we’re definitely assured of a slab of your dark, delicious humour once more 😉
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Although before I got to the end I did worry that she’d made a cake using one of the bloke’s bodies. Wouldn’t put it past you… Glad you didn’t, I like cake and it might have put me off.
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Now that would have been a great ending!
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The first time I read it as “fart” tatin LOL Bet that slice of loaded cake was delish*
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I covered the farting in last week’s FF – no gas this time round 🙂
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Delightful twist. And I love the names.
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Thank you – I may have to use Ten-tonne-Tony and Butcher Branning again some time 🙂
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Hash brownies, lovely. Perfect alliteration, very very funny.
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Thanks Sandra. I had a lot of fun with this one 🙂
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Dear EL,
Glad I read the comments so I didn’t have to be the one to ask what peckish meant. I believe I’ve partaken of that cake in times past. Melt in your mouth munchie cake. Fun stuff. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I considered calling it Mary Gets The Munchies, but that might have spoilt the surprise. And I’m thrilled to have introduced the word ‘peckish’ to the US, it hadn’t occurred to me that it was specifically British.
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Simply super stuff! Brought to mind the magic brownies people used to make “back in the day”, although they were never on my menu. Enjoyed the alliteration and just the thought of the Burly Boys. And I love “peckish!”
janet
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Thanks Janet. I think some of the alliteration in the comments is better than mine! Glad you like ‘peckish’ – I hope you’ll use it often, perhaps when you sit down to a cup of tea and a biscuit 🙂
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I love myself some alliteration, and you did it in a way that flowed very well and didn’t seem forced. I really enjoyed the rhythm of the writing, as I could almost feel Mary’s thoughts as if they were my own. This was highly entertaining. I’m not sure why, but I have a sudden craving for cake! 😀
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Thank you for your lovely, thoughtful comments. I also have a craving for cake, sadly I’ve lost the recipe to Mary’s cake some time ago…
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I bought brownies from the store last night. This is something I rarely do. I blame your story! 😡
Hopefully that recipe resurfaces!
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Great fun and a sly look at UK culture today. Keep ’em coming.
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Thanks Patrick. I’ll do my best to keep ’em coming 🙂
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Brilliant! I’m not sure how the judges would tell Bob “The Butcher” his cake is no good. Carefully, maybe?
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I imagined him bursting into tears when his bombe melted 🙂
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Most amusing!
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why, thank you!
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As a fan of Great British Bake Off and other similar programmes, I have just only just stopped crying with laughter at the thought of Mary B on speed. I have often wondered how heavily the programmes are edited, someone has to make a totally inedible mess once in a while surely?
Great take, loved it
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Hi Dee
Your comment made my day! I did wonder if anyone would think of Mary B (or even know who she was). And I agree, they can’t all go quite so well as the final version we see.
thank you 😀
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“Britain’s Burly Boy Bake-Off”–Definitely a winner! However, I pity the poor lads–I heard the hopped-up hostess stole their spotlight.
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You’re so clever with words, even in the comments. I think you may have won the ‘alliteration-off’ in this comment thread 🙂
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LOL i know exactly what’s in that funny-floaty-fluffy cake. 🙂 the “Britain’s Burly Boy Bake Off” is such a hilarious idea! yet i can see it happening haha 🙂 loved your story
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thank you, glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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It’s quite a nice use of alliteration, onomatopoeia and humor
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Cakes, brownies, hey it’s all in the baking right? LOL this one made me laugh El. You never fail to deliver the ‘goods’ 😉
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So funny with great imagery. Bob’s predigested butterscotch -yuk. I’ve never watched TGBBO but the idea of a presentor munching and getting the munchies is so appealing 🙂
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Thank you – I wasn’t sure there’d be many people who’d get the reference (and the Mary I may or may not have been referring to). Glad you enjoyed it.
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Great story. It took a second to twig what was going on, but it was worth it.
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I, too, enjoyed the alliteration of your story. I hope she doesn’t have to drive after the show.
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Delectable dish.. God where have I been that I haven’t read you in previous FF? Under a rock that’s where. I’ma bit of an alliteration addict so this was heavenly.
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