I almost didn’t make it this week. I wrote a piece about a couple of librarians who start a band, but every time one of them opens their mouth to sing, the other tells them to be quiet. It didn’t work, was way too long, and offended my ex-librarian husband, so I dumped it and did this one instead. Hope you like it 🙂
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I Love It When You Do That Thing
Bernie was strumming away on his mandolin-lute thingy.
‘When I play my mandolin-lute thingy,’ he said. ‘It’s like all my troubles just melt away, know what I mean?’
Luke nodded, plucking at the strings of his guitar. ‘Totally. When I play, it’s like I’m transported to foreign lands, with sandy beaches and a warm Mediterranean breeze.’
The barmaid leant over the table. ‘Boys,’ she said, in a sultry voice. ‘When you play, it’s like all my dreams come true.’
‘It is?’
‘Sure, because everyone else leaves double-quick and I get to go home early. Now drink up and bugger off.’
(100 words)
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For those who don’t know, Friday Fictioneers is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle! Check out the link below to see what other fictioneers did with this week’s prompt.
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EL Appleby: Brain Fragments 
That was really funny. XD Great last line. Well done. 🙂
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That was really funny. XD Great last line. 🙂
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This was really funny, El. XD I thought the last was especially good. 🙂
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That was a funny repast… thanks! 🙂
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No, thank you for your lovely comment 🙂
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Nice fun piece.
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thanks!
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The loosy.goosy manner of speech really got to me. Sometimes I get so possessed with a need to be so articulate that I plum forget that real people speak in all sorts of colloquial /lopsided ways
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Hi Larry
I enjoy writing genuine dialogue – how people really speak, not how they’re supposed to speak. Glad you enjoyed it too!
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I knew the music was bad as soon as the old man called it “my mandolin lute thingy”. No dedicated musicianship there!
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I honestly have no idea what it is, so like Bernie, I sort of guessed 😀
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🙂
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I am laughing out loud, EL. Thanks! The mandolin lute thingy foreshadowed the way the story went and I loved the ending. You’re on form today (as always.)
janet
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Thanks janet. You’re lovely!
Mandolin-lute thingy was also my favourite bit 🙂
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I’ve been to that gig!! Nicely played -ahem! – in the way you captured some very realistic talking type stuff!
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Thanks kingsley. I’m not at all musical, so it had to be about bad musicians. Glad you enjoyed the dialogue 🙂
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Heh, music IS dialogue between the instruments, so it’s fun to imagine the sound the would make, bouncing off one another! lol
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I like it — but I like the librarian version better. Now that’s an inventive,hilarious concept: ” Feelings, nothing more than ….” SHHHHHH! That’s one for SNL!
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Hi Perry
I don’t know what SNL is – but I also preferred the librarian one. The problem was that I couldn’t get it to work in 100 words. Better not to write something, than to write something bad. Maybe my musical librarians will appear somewhere else some day!
(BTW – in the end they decided to become mime artists 😀 )
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haha 🙂 i’m glad you decided to write a story this week! i so needed that laugh 🙂
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Thanks KZ. I’ll be over to yours soon for my weekly dose of horror to counteract the comedy 🙂
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Hahaha! Too funny. Everyone’s a music critic …
Good story, or, as we say in basketball when they make the basket without hitting the backboard, “swish!”
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Thanks Kent. Personally, I think that barmaid should ask them to pop in every evening to clear the bar, then she’ll get to go home early every day! I love ‘swish’, by the way, you’ll have me talking like a septic in no time!
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I love ‘thingy’ as a word. I shouldn’t, but I unashamedly do! And you can always rely on a barmaid for a touch of … class thingy. 🙂
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Thingy is one of my favourite words, along with whatjamacallit, doodah and dooberry. I should probably worry that there are so many words I can’t think of that I have several different words to replace them with. Early onset dementia maybe?
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LOL!!! Both versions are great.
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Thanks Alice. I’m sad the librarians didn’t make the grade, but sometimes you have to make tough choices.
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Excellent story and I like the word ‘thingy’ too. I probably use it once a day at least! It is very descriptive! Wonderful story, thanks! Nan 🙂
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Thanks Nan. I love ‘thingy’ too! Glad you liked my silly tale 🙂
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Very funny! I love how even the musician doesn’t quite know what his “mandolin-lute thingy” is (I referred to it as an “oversized banjo” 🙂
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And I still don’t know what it is!!!
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This was very clever and funny! Kudos to your hubby for steering you in a new direction! I especially like that Bernie calls his instrument a “mandolin-lute” thingy” 🙂
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Thanks Jan. Sometimes it’s hard to take a step back and look at your own stuff critically, so that’s when hubby comes in! Glad you liked my silly tale 🙂
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El this was hilarious as usual, especially the last line. XD Well done. 🙂
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That brought them down to earth. Tough lady but true.
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She doesn’t care about their feelings at all, she just wants to get home. Thanks for commenting 🙂
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Love the dialogue between the 3 characters…..
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Thanks. Me too!
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Dear EL,
Hubsands can be so sensitive. No matter. There’s nothing more entertaining than mandolin-lute-thingy music. Love the spunky barmaid. Fun story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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According to husband, it’s not true that librarians say ‘ssshhh’ all the time! He actually groaned when I told him my idea. But at least it gave me a chance to write about the highly critical barmaid 🙂
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love the dialogue between your characters, especially the barmaid. 🙂
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thank you! she’s great isn’t she?
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yes! 🙂
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The waitress’ line made me LOL. I guess those guys are not top billing 8^). Well done.
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Thanks – I’m so pleased my silly tale made you laugh. That means it worked, yay!
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Hilarious story as usual, El. XD I especially liked the last words of the barmaid.:) Well done. I’ll just add that SNL stands for Saturday Night Live, a TV comedy skit show that’s been running for years in the U.S. The cast changes from time to time but the show continues. Some of the skits have become classics.
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Oh yes, I’ve heard of that show, thanks for clearing that up for me! And thanks for your lovely comments. Glad you enjoyed my silly tale 🙂
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Okay. Thank you for making me smile. Your story is simple but effectively funny. Even the original concept for this prompt sounds promising. I hope you’ll post that one too. I like your comedic stroke. Cheers!
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A barmaid’s dream is an empty bar… (BTW the thingy is a portuguese guitar)…
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This was so funny, really great story.
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Oh, that’s funny! Thanks for the laugh (my mom is an ex-librarian and would have found your first piece very funny!) Cheers
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El, so funny! At least everyone is happy in the end. Ha ha. Your other idea seemed pretty funny, too. So glad you made it this week. This made me smile!
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That really made me laugh! Then again, so did the comment about your ex-librarian, husband! Thanks for the giggles – glad you made it in the end. 🙂
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Trust you to make us laugh 🙂 You did it again 🙂
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I loved this and laughed out loud. Your description of the mandolin-lute-thingy was brilliant. I’m with Sandra on the use of thingy – as I get older I find it a good stand-in for lots of words and wonderfully, people seem to understand.
Brilliant
Dee
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Poor guys! Though, I’m sure I’d have the same effect on a crowd. I hope they’re not too discouraged, as this could be seen as a talent. This was a very engaging read, as always, but gosh I’m wishing I could read that librarian story!
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Fantastically funny – snorting out loud. But can we have the librarians too – I’m hooked just by your intro. 🙂
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I have been this bartender! 😉
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