It’s Friday Fiction time again, but before we get to the real reason you’re here, I’d like to share some good news with you.
No, wait! Don’t scroll to the story! It’ll only take a second…
Oh okay, bye 😦
For those of you who are still here, a quick question for you: Do you have a favourite story? One you’ve written yourself that you really love?
I know we Brits are supposed to be self-deprecating, but bollocks to that. I do have a favourite story. It’s called Crik Crak, I wrote it a couple of years ago, and I love it. It’s dark humour, not quite KZ dark, more twisted-fairytale dark. It was Highly Commended in the Bristol Short Story Prize and now it’s going to be published in a brand new, ingenious, quarterly arty-literary publication called Firewords Quarterly.
I’ll post more nearer the time, including how you can get your hands on a copy of Firewords Quarterly. If you can’t wait, check out the link and maybe even sign up for their email to be notified of when submissions open again for the next edition. The Firewords concept is unlike anything that’s on the market at the moment. I think it’s going to be big and I’m thrilled they’re including Crik Crak in their first edition.
Thanks for sticking with me and my shameless self-publicity 🙂 Here’s this week’s 100 word story.
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The Little Black Dress
Matilda unwrapped the wax doll carefully. She was impressed, it looked just like her. She tested it with a pin, digging the spike into its side. The searing pain that pierced her kidneys was proof enough. It worked.
Matilda warmed the doll on the radiator then set to work. First she smoothed the stomach to washboard flat, then she cinched the waist. Finally, using the wax she’d taken from the waist, she added a little definition to the bust.
Then she slithered into the tiny black dress she’d chosen for the party. A perfect fit – thanks to the Voodoo Diet.
(100 words)
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For those who don’t know, Friday Fictioneers is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle! Check out the link below to see what other fictioneers did with this week’s prompt.
Need more Friday Fiction? Click the blue frog to read more stories from other fictioneers!
CONGRATULATIONS! I haven’t read the flash fiction yet, but I wanted to tell you how awesome you are before I dive into the story! No shame in sharing your accomplishments! Ok, now to the story…:)
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I seriously need one of these dolls! Humorous story, but still had the suspense factor. After hurting herself, I was puzzled as to why she was putting the thing on the radiator! Magnificently creative, as always! 😀 You should definitely sell this idea to Mattel!
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Thank you – this comment is supposed to be directly below your second comment but my reply to your first comment is there so god knows where this one will end up. See the chaos you’ve caused with your double commenting!
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I do apologize for inflicting my chaos on your wonderful post! 🙂
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Thank you so much! You lovely lady!!! How sweet to pop down and comment like that. It feels almost as good as getting my story accepted 🙂
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Brill news on the short story, big congrats. As for this little gem, great piece, just one question though – Where can I get one of those dolls? 😉
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Thank you! I’m tempted to start up a Voodoo Diet mail order company – I could make a mint 😀
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Hahaha! Great idea — the Voodoo Diet! Too funny. Let me know where to order it.
Hey, congratulations on Crik Crak getting that mention and attention. “KZ Dark.” Hilarious!
Keep-a going, EL.! Wonderful stuff.
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Thanks Kent
You should check out Perry’s comment below – he’s come up with a special version for men 😉
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Congrats El!! Way to go lady!
The story is too funny and don’t we all wish we could have a doll like that. But with my luck, I’d forget the damn thing on the radiator and I’d melt away! hahahaha.
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You read my mind – in the original (and way too long) version, I was going to send her off to a bonfire party 😀
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LOL a bonfire party would have been awesome! I can see it now, she got a bit too close to the fire. opps! 🙂
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Very cute piece, and Congratulations on the story!
I’d like to get a wax doll to make something bigger, while we’re at it.
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That’s the best comment ever! And funnier than my little story, damn you!
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He’s a pistol!
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First things first–congratulations. I’m going to take a look at the story. As for this story, I love your idea and of course you executed it beautifully. But she’d better be sure she keeps that doll somewhere safe and temperature-controlled!
janet
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Thanks janet. I hope you do get a chance to read Crik Crak – it’s unlike anything on here, though! You’re right about the doll too, I had planned for Mathilda to go to a bonfire party where her newly created assets melted in the heat, but the word count wouldn’t let me 🙂
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Congratulations on your story! And I loved your fictioneer story as well, very creative! Though I wish the voodoo diet wasn’t fiction!
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HI Rachel
we don’t know that the Voodoo diet’s fiction, maybe it’s just untested science – got any candles handy?
😀
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Great story–and that is a product I could really use!!!
Congrats on your story being published. Keep us posted!
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thanks Jan
If I find a Voodoo Diet Doll supplier, you’ll be the first to know 🙂
(and I’ll be rich!)
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You should patent that! 🙂 And great news about the story. Well done.
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Thanks Sandra
I’ll be off to the patent office first thing tomorrow!
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CONGRATULATIONS on your story being published! 🙂 I’d love to read it and also find out more about the magazine and what kind of stories they chose. I’ll look it up. Hilarious story as usual. XD What a doll! I’d probably scare people with a doll like that at my age. 😦 Well done. 🙂
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Your comment really made me laugh – thank you. And thanks for the congratulations too, much appreciated 🙂
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🙂
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Big congratulations on the story… I look forward to hear more later on.
The Vodoo diet – and thinking ahead, I almost foresee a Dorian Gray behavior coming on…
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Ooh – I like the Dorian Gray twist – fab idea 🙂
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You could make a fortune with the diet! Well written, as usual.Huge congratulations on the story,will be checking the link when I’ve posted this.
Dee
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Thanks Dee – I’ve bulk ordered some candles and am just getting my business plan together 🙂
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Voodoo diet, indeed! How brilliant! What a nice change of pace your story is.
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Hi Caerlynn
Thank you for you lovely comment. I haven’t read the other stories yet – just getting to it now, but am intrigued by your comment.
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Get me a copy of that diet. Well done. Lucy
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😀
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Many congratulations on the story, and as for this piece – brilliant! Very amusing indeed – I wonder if she’ll be able to resist further experimentation in the future?
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I remember seeing this documentary about a German woman who was obsessed with corsets and shrunk her waist down so far that she had to wear support all the time otherwise she’d die. Let’s hope Matilda doesn’t go that far!
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Oh crumbs. I feel so sorry for people who for whatever reason obsess about how they look to such an extent (not that I wouldn’t prefer a smaller waistband and a few more muscles, mind!).
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I enjoyed this one.
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Great story. It got me so nervous when she put the doll on the radiator. The unexpected use of the voodoo doll was super interesting and creative. You, my friend, are somewhat twisted yourself.
Congrats on the publication!
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Thank you – I was a bit worried this week as nothing seemed to be happening in my twisted mind, but then it all came together and I breathed a huge sigh of relief! Your stories, by the way, are easily as creative, and often much more twisted than mine! Love your blog and looking forward to reading more.
All the best 🙂
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Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy tomorrow’s offering 🙂
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A voodoo-diet doll of me would be great – woe if it ever fell into the wrong hands! Great story and congrats on the publication! 🙂
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That would make a great sequel – arch nemesis gets hold of voodoo doll and Matilda suddenly gets bulges in the strangest places 😀
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Hilarious! 😀
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How fantastic! So very well done! And do keep blowing your own trumpet – you’ve worked hard so don’t hide it!
I loved the story too, by the way – I want the Voodoo Diet here! 🙂
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Thank you. I may take up trumpet lessons! Glad you enjoyed my story 🙂
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Superb idea for a story, and excellent story telling to. If only getting I’m shape was that quick. Just one thing though. I wouldn’t poke the needle in my kidneys in her position. Far too painful.
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If only! And if only I could make the Voodoo Diet real I’d be rich!!!
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It’s realistic & scary , like my very favorite old.time creature features
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haha oh your crazy, brilliant mind 🙂
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Thank you 😀
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Hilarious. But I think I need a Voodoo diet too.
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Oh, if only it was that simple. Great idea.
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Dear EL,
Congrats on the story! Wonderful news.
Voodoo diet? What happens if the doll’s left out in the sun? Clever story as always.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Congratulations on being published! Love this story, humorous and an interesting commentary on how far we’re willing to go to be “perfect.” Can’t be any worse than liposuction or boob jobs…Thanks for sharing the news and the story.
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Thanks Jennie
I was wondering how it would feel for Matilda but the 100 word limit wouldn’t allow me to explore – I reckon loads less painful than either lipo or a boob job – the lengths people go to to look good is extraordinary. Thanks for commenting, and thanks for the congrats 🙂
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Oh wow, this is perhaps the most brilliant story I’ve read this week. That is a wonderful way to use voodoo dolls. 🙂
It’s funny too, that my story had to do with wax dolls and another story I posted yesterday had to do with losing weight. I guess we’re on similar wavelengths. 🙂
Congratulations on your story being published. I usually skip down to the preamble on most people’s stories, but I’m glad I read yours.
-David
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Just posted the link to this on reddit. I hope it helps your view numbers. 🙂
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Thank you so much, for the congrats, for the link to reddit, and especially for the ‘most brilliant this week’ accolade! I am puffed with pride 🙂
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Excellent. We all need some of that wax from time to time?
Looking forward to the publication (Congrats). Chester u has a good bi- annual called Flash. Some good reads there too.
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Ha, the voodoo diet! I love it. Nice description of the voodoo practice. Congrats on your story. Yay!!!! I will look into signing up.
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Truly brilliant! If only there were a diet that worked this easily, and yet I’ve never read this anywhere else. So bravo for true originality and clever writing! Love it. Second, Mazel! There is nothing shameless about sharing your success. We are writers, here to support one another in writing! Way to go!!
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I loved the story. If only it were that easy LOL!
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Wonderful story! You never hear of a voodoo doll used to improve a person. Way to put a spin on it! Congratulations on your published story! 🙂
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Great idea. Where can I order? And congratulations about the your story. Looking forward to more non-British ‘here look at me’ shouting when we can read it.
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[…] may have mentioned this in an earlier post. I may have been a little over-excited because Firewords Quarterly is publishing my story Crik Crak […]
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