Friday Fiction: Perforated Walls

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http://rochellewisofffields.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/old-wallpaper-mary-shipman.jpg
Photo prompt copyright Mary Shipman

 

Perforated Walls

Maureen was suffering from palpitations, mood swings and night sweats. Her mother recognised the symptoms immediately.

‘The Change, Mum? Seriously? I’m too young!’

‘Nonsense, dear,’ said her wise old mum. ‘It comes when it comes.’

That night, Maureen felt worse than ever.

*

Come morning, Maureen’s mother clambered over what remained of the door, ‘How was your night?’

‘The facial hair’s pretty unpleasant,’ Maureen said, surveying the destruction of the previous night, the shredded curtains, perforated walls and splintered furniture. ‘But running wild, eating whatever I damn well please was seriously liberating . And you say this happens every full moon?’

 

(100 words)

 

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For those who don’t know, Friday Fictioneers is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle! Check out the link below to see what other fictioneers did with this week’s prompt.

Need more Friday Fiction? Click the blue frog to read more stories from other fictioneers!

Need more stuff to read? Give Firewords Quarterly a go (there’s one of my stories in Issue One!)

Friday Fiction: Eau De Teenager’s Bedroom

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http://rochellewisofffields.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/hokusai4rwf.jpg
Photo Prompt Copyright – Douglas M. MacIlroy

Eau De Teenager’s Bedroom

January.

Ellen pins her resolution to the noticeboard: No more picking up other people’s shit.

‘Mummy swore!’ says her youngest, Lucy.

‘Challenge accepted,’ says her eldest, Danny.

 

February.

A ripe pungency escapes from Danny’s room.

‘What’s that smell?’ asks Lucy.

‘Smell?’ says Ellen, adjusting the clothes-peg on her nose.

 

March.

Danny’s room disappears under magazines, washing, junk,

‘What are the candles for, Danny?’

‘Can’t find the light switch,’ says Danny. ‘Or the window.’

 

April.

‘I give up,’ Ellen adjusts her gas mask. ‘I’m coming in!’

‘Stop!’ Danny points at her feet. ‘Shoes off first. Were you born in a barn?’

 

(100 words)

Following on from a couple of comments I received, and having a few hours to pass on a train yesterday,  I wrote an extended version of this called No More Picking Up Other People’s Shit. Find out about Ellen’s next resolution, Lucy’s secret obsession and Danny’s future ambitions in this 500 word story!

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For those who don’t know, Friday Fictioneers is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle! Check out the link below to see what other fictioneers did with this week’s prompt.

Need more Friday Fiction? Click the blue frog to read more stories from other fictioneers!

Need more stuff to read? Give Firewords Quarterly a go (there’s one of my stories in Issue One!)

Friday Fiction: Here Comes The Sun

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PHOTO PROMPT Copyright -Jennifer Pendergast
PHOTO PROMPT Copyright -Jennifer Pendergast

 

Here Comes The Sun

Lucy was ashamed. She’d pinched small things before: hotel shampoos, glass ashtrays from cafes. And on holiday, she reasoned, it doesn’t count as stealing. Everybody does it.

But this was big.

Once she’d worked out how to compress it, she’d squeezed it into a single suitcase for her flight home from Ibiza, but when she unpacked it, it filled her garden and threatened to spill out into the street.

Lucy shook off her guilt, you could hardly blame her, England was all grey skies and drizzle. She slipped on her bikini and went outside to enjoy her stolen Spanish sunshine.

 

(100 words)

Please check your spam folder for my comments – I’m still having problems with mine disappearing and I’d hate you to think I was ignoring you! Am on holiday this week in France, so comments, likes etc. will be sporadic. And if I can find out how to bring the sunshine back home with me – I will! ________________________________________________________________________________________________

For those who don’t know, Friday Fictioneers is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle! Check out the link below to see what other fictioneers did with this week’s prompt.

Need more Friday Fiction? Click the blue frog to read more stories from other fictioneers!

Friday Fiction: Whither Goest Thou, Fair Lady?

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http://rochellewisofffields.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/copyright-erin-leary-2.jpg
Photo Copyright Erin Leary

 

Whither Goest Thou, Fair Lady?

One misty morning, a dapper young chap went a-walking in Kilkenny and happened upon a fair lady.

‘Whither goest thou?’ quoth he.

‘To be sure,’ said the lady, for she was Irish to the core. ‘I’m after catching meself a frog.’

‘And willst thou kiss thy frog in the hopes of landing thyself an enchanted prince?’ enquired the gentleman. ‘For I’d be charmed to be your frog. Ribbet!’ And he puckered up for a kiss.

‘The frog’s for my biology class – it’s dissection day. Sure, you’ll do though,’ said the lady, producing a scalpel.

But her suitor had hopped off.

(100 words)

I had loads of problems with WordPress last week which left me with intermittent access to most blogs (including my own!) and most of my comments seem to have ended up in people’s spam folders. Never mind, new week, new story, new start 🙂 ________________________________________________________________________________________________

For those who don’t know, Friday Fictioneers is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle! Check out the link below to see what other fictioneers did with this week’s prompt.

Need more Friday Fiction? Click the blue frog to read more stories from other fictioneers!

Friday Fiction: And The Dish Ran Away…

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 PHOTO PROMPT Copyright-Sandra Crook

And The Dish Ran Away…

Mint Sauce was the ring-leader. It was obvious when they named her that she was destined for the table, so she knew her days were numbered. She waited until Farmer Giles was engrossed in conversation, then nuzzled the gate open.

‘Rosemary! Garlic! All of you! Now’s our chance, let’s go!’

And, of course, the others all followed. Like sheep.

Freedom felt good, but what now?

‘We could go to Baaa-li,’ Gravy suggested.

‘What about Baaa-bados? We could baa-sk in the sun,’ bleated Chop.

‘Wherever we go,’ said Mint Sauce, shivering. ‘It’d better be warm. That baaa-stard shearer stole my coat.’

 

(100 words)

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For those who don’t know, Friday Fictioneers is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle! Check out the link below to see what other fictioneers did with this week’s prompt.

Need more Friday Fiction? Click the blue frog to read more stories from other fictioneers!

Friday Fiction: Good Things Come To Optimistic Shopping Trolleys

No big laughs this week, but hopefully a gentle chuckle and a smile 🙂

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Copyright -B. W. Beacham
Copyright -B. W. Beacham

 

Good Things Come To Optimistic Shopping Trolleys

The shopping trolley was an optimistic fellow, which was handy because he’d had a shitty day. Lesser trolleys would have crumpled by now.

First, he’d been loaded up with beer well beyond his recommended capacity, then kidnapped from the supermarket, joy-ridden through the streets and flung in the river.

There he lay, on his side, half submerged.

‘Not bad here,’ he thought, optimistically. ‘I might even learn to swim.’

As the day waned, he grew a little lonely.

‘Some company would be nice.’

‘Hello,’ said a passing whelk. ‘Do you mind if I hang for a bit?

‘Perfect,’ said Trolley.

 

 

(100 words)

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For those who don’t know, Friday Fictioneers is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle! Check out the link below to see what other fictioneers did with this week’s prompt.

Need more Friday Fiction? Click the blue frog to read more stories from other fictioneers!

Friday Fiction: The Little Black Dress

It’s Friday Fiction time again, but before we get to the real reason you’re here, I’d like to share some good news with you.

No, wait! Don’t scroll to the story! It’ll only take a second…

Oh okay, bye 😦

For those of you who are still here, a quick question for you: Do you have a favourite story? One you’ve written yourself that you really love?

I know we Brits are supposed to be self-deprecating, but bollocks to that. I do have a favourite story. It’s called Crik Crak, I wrote it a couple of years ago, and I love it. It’s dark humour, not quite KZ dark, more twisted-fairytale dark. It was Highly Commended in the Bristol Short Story Prize and now it’s going to be published in a brand new, ingenious, quarterly arty-literary publication called Firewords Quarterly.

I’ll post more nearer the time, including how you can get your hands on a copy of Firewords Quarterly. If you can’t wait, check out the link and maybe even sign up for their email to be notified of when submissions open again for the next edition. The Firewords concept is unlike anything that’s on the market at the moment. I think it’s going to be big and I’m thrilled they’re including Crik Crak in their first edition.

Thanks for sticking with me and my shameless self-publicity 🙂 Here’s this week’s 100 word story.

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http://rochellewisofffields.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/melting-wax-renee-heath.jpg
PHOTO PROMPT – Copyright – Renee Heath

The Little Black Dress

Matilda unwrapped the wax doll carefully. She was impressed, it looked just like her. She tested it with a pin, digging the spike into its side. The searing pain that pierced her kidneys was proof enough. It worked.

Matilda warmed the doll on the radiator then set to work. First she smoothed the stomach to washboard flat, then she cinched the waist. Finally, using the wax she’d taken from the waist, she added a little definition to the bust.

Then she slithered into the tiny black dress she’d chosen for the party. A perfect fit – thanks to the Voodoo Diet.

(100 words)

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For those who don’t know, Friday Fictioneers is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle! Check out the link below to see what other fictioneers did with this week’s prompt.

Need more Friday Fiction? Click the blue frog to read more stories from other fictioneers!

Friday Fiction: I Love It When You Do That Thing

I almost didn’t make it this week. I wrote a piece about a couple of librarians who start a band, but every time one of them opens their mouth to sing, the other tells them to be quiet. It didn’t work, was way too long, and offended my ex-librarian husband, so I dumped it and did this one instead. Hope you like it 🙂

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Copyright - Bjorn Brudberg
Copyright – Bjorn Brudberg

 

I Love It When You Do That Thing

Bernie was strumming away on his mandolin-lute thingy.

‘When I play my mandolin-lute thingy,’ he said. ‘It’s like all my troubles just melt away, know what I mean?’

Luke nodded, plucking at the strings of his guitar. ‘Totally. When I play, it’s like I’m transported to foreign lands, with sandy beaches and a warm Mediterranean breeze.’

The barmaid leant over the table. ‘Boys,’ she said, in a sultry voice. ‘When you play, it’s like all my dreams come true.’

‘It is?’

‘Sure, because everyone else leaves double-quick and I get to go home early. Now drink up and bugger off.’

 

(100 words)

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For those who don’t know, Friday Fictioneers is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle! Check out the link below to see what other fictioneers did with this week’s prompt.

Need more Friday Fiction? Click the blue frog to read more stories from other fictioneers!

Friday Fiction: An Unfortunate Face

Morning all! I should probably apologise for this one in advance – I don’t really believe in ugliness, not of face anyway, but this was what I saw when I got the prompt. Blame my tiny, twisted mind 😀

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Copyright - Douglas M. MacIlroy
Copyright – Douglas M. MacIlroy

An Unfortunate Face

Some people are just too ugly for words, so you have to resort to non-words like ‘bleurgh’ and ‘yeeesh’. Greg was one such unlucky soul, his mother fainted when he was born, twice, and several times thereafter when he caught her unawares.

Then Greg’s father bought him an antique diver’s helmet for his birthday, and it transformed his life. Finally, he could hold his head up high (with his hands, anyway).

Every year they would ceremoniously lift the helmet to see if there was any improvement.

‘Sorry, son,’ said his dad, as his mother hit the floor. ‘Maybe next year…’

(100 words)

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For those who don’t know, Friday Fictioneers is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle! Check out the link below to see what other fictioneers did with this week’s prompt.

Need more Friday Fiction? Click the blue frog to read more stories from other fictioneers!

Friday Fiction: Spring Cleaning in Santa Zita

I’ve got the day off work today, so plenty of time to dedicate to a fantastic foray into Friday Fiction (sorry, I seem to have gone alliteration-mad lately).

Last week I cheated massively by hyphenating the entire last sentence, but this week I’ve been good and there’s not a single hyphen (even though I was sorely tempted).

Oh, and despite my threats, Helena, nobody dies this week 🙂
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http://rochellewisofffields.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/dee-2.jpg
Copyright D Lovering

Spring Cleaning in Santa Zita

The townsfolk of Santa Zita were a bunch of lazy bastards who couldn’t be arsed to maintain the exteriors of their homes. Instead, once a year, the mayor selected a handful of men to accompany him on a pilgrimage to the highest mountain in the land, to pray to the Great Cleaning Lady In The Sky.

‘Oh Majestic Domestic,’ they implored, poetically. ‘Grace us with the lustre of your giant feather duster!’

‘And wear that French Maid outfit again!’ the mayor squeaked, barely containing his excitement.

And the men sat on the mountain, eyes to the skies, and waited.

 

(99 words)

Saint Zita is the patron saint of maids and domestic servants. So we know who to pray to when we’ve run out of clean undies 🙂

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For those who don’t know, Friday Fictioneers is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle! Check out the link below to see what other fictioneers did with this week’s prompt.

Need more Friday Fiction? Click the blue frog to read more stories from other fictioneers!