The Sofa’s Gone All Chucky On Me.
Photo credit: Akbar Sim / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

It’s probably my fault for getting cocky. I was speeding along with my NaNoNovel, clocking up 2000 words a day, thinking how easy it all was. There were a few dodgy days where the words didn’t seem to come, but nothing to write home about 🙂

And then all of a sudden the words stopped coming, just dried up, disappeared, went on holiday and refused to come back.

I tried all the tricks including:

  • Forcing myself to write anything which came into my head. This actually turned out to be a very useful exercise, after 20 minutes I had a comprehensive shopping list for the next couple of weeks. No actual NaNo words though.
  • Closing my eyes and writing. I’ve been told about this exercise before, it’s supposed to release your inner thoughts. It probably works better when you’re typing rather than handwriting.  I have no idea what I wrote during this exercise, there was a word that looked like mubbleflumps, but the rest  was completely undecipherable.
  • I even tried sneaking up on my notebook (I was sure the element of surprise would work), I walked past my desk whistling and looking in the other direction. Then, just when it was least expecting it, I jumped into the swivel chair, grabbed the pen and started writing. It was a massive failure.
Photo credit: Kalense Kid / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA

Yesterday I gave up and asked my characters what they wanted me to write about. This was a very bad idea. The Sofa Whisperer was a mad enough idea in the first place (talking sofa, chair and footstool that only Layla, a teenage kickboxer, can hear), but 3000 words later it’s taken insanity to new heights. George the footstool has decided he doesn’t like humans, because he has to put up with their smelly feet all the time (I can sort of see his point), and the sweet, slightly pathetic sofa has turned psycho. It’s decided it doesn’t want to be ‘cured’ of its talkativeness, so it’s gone crazy and taken control of everyone’s emotions – turning them all into crazy, raging, hormonal teenagers.

I think NaNo may have permanently warped my mind.