Lovely Legs

https://rochellewisofffields.files.wordpress.com/2016/05/waves.jpg?w=1133&h=635

photo by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

 

Lovely Legs

“Don’t do it!” the old woman yelled into the waves. “Don’t do it, you foolish girl! He might be your Prince Charming now, but he’ll be Prince-having-it-off-with-Tina-from-the-chip-shop before you know it. They’re all lying bastards! I should know, I was you fifty years ago. Don’t make the same mistake!

And nobody warns you about leg cramps, or arthritis, or how insanely ugly knees are. And don’t get me started on varicose veins!”

There was a distant splash and the briefest flicker of a shimmering fishtail, then the sea fell silent. The old woman turned away, relieved.

“Bitch.” said Prince Charming.

(100 words)

…although I cheated with the word “Prince-having-it-off-with-Tina-from-the-chip-shop.” Check out other (probably more sensible) writers by clicking on the link below.

The Maud Manoeuvre

PHOTO PROMPT © Roger Bultot

Photo by Roger Bultot

Although worms were hardly a gastronomic delight, when Maud died and was reincarnated as a brown sparrow, she embraced her new life with vigour. She’d been a heavy human, but now felt almost weightless as she sailed through the sky. She even invented her own little swoop, diving almost to ground-level then appearing to hop in mid-air before soaring up again. She called it the Maud Manoeuvre.

Her favourite pastime, however, was perching on the wire outside Number 22 with all the other sparrows. And shitting on her ex-husband as he left for work. She called that manoeuvre Just Desserts.

(100 words)

It’s been a while. I’m a little rusty and a day late, but here’s my silly (as always) offering for Friday Fiction. Click on the link below to see what other writers did with the prompt.

For more from me try this one: 100 word stories

Friday Fiction: The Ins & Outs of Love

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https://rochellewisofffields.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/roiling-cloud-1.jpg?w=800&h=533

Photo prompt copyright: Kelly Sands

The Ins And Outs of Love

They lie on their backs in her garden, watching the storm clouds roll by. It was Kate’s idea, she saw it in a film and hopes Sam will think her quirky, cool and romantic. Sam thinks it’s weird, but stays because he’s hoping for some action.

Kate is in love; Sam is in lust.

He makes his move…

Kate is inexperienced; Sam is in luck.

Her clothes slide off and he slides on…

Kate is in the buff; Sam is in Kate.

Something’s happening deep inside her…

Kate is in trouble.

Sam is in a taxi, heading out of town.

 

(100 words)

 

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For those who don’t know, Friday Fictioneers is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle! Check out the link below to see what other fictioneers did with this week’s prompt.

Need more Friday Fiction? Click the blue frog to read more stories from other fictioneers!

Friday Fiction: #callingmrcupid

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photo prompt: Claire Fuller

Photo prompt: Claire Fuller

 

#callingmrcupid

The words flashed on the screen, the ones she’d been dreading for weeks. She’d been thrilled to discover online dating, and even more thrilled when she’d been matched with Derek. They chatted every day, sometimes late into the night. But now the moment had come:

derek_132: Let’s meet.

Her heart raced and sank in equal measures. She knew it would be a disaster, it always was. Men changed when they met her, every man she had ever known, and she couldn’t bear to lose Derek. Still, maybe this time it would be different.

medusa_1: How do you feel about snakes?

 

(100 words)

 

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For those who don’t know, Friday Fictioneers is a challenge to write a 100 word story from a picture prompt. It’s hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and anyone can play. Thanks for hosting, Rochelle! Check out the link below to see what other fictioneers did with this week’s prompt.

Need more Friday Fiction? Click the blue frog to read more stories from other fictioneers!

Need more stuff to read? Give Firewords Quarterly a go (there’s one of my stories in Issue One!) NOW AVAILABLE AS A DIGITAL DOWNLOAD – CLICK HERE FOR MORE

carpe diem haiku: strawberry

strawberry

 

you are not a fruit

so stop pretending you are,

bloody pseudocarps

 ~

https://i2.wp.com/upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/29/PerfectStrawberry.jpg

For Carpe Diem prompt no. 501: strawberry

Need more ha ha haiku? Click here :)

carpe diem haiku: ginkgo leaves

ginkgo leaves

 

I take you daily

in tablet form, however

I’ve forgotten why

 

~

https://i1.wp.com/upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/32/Ginkgo_biloba_scanned_leaf.jpg

For Carpe Diem prompt no. 500: ginkgo leaves

Need more ha ha haiku? Click here :)

carpe diem haiku: buttercups

buttercups

 held under your chin

yellow means you love butter

as does your wide waist

~

https://elappleby.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/19589-cimg0119.jpg

For Carpe Diem prompt no. 499: buttercups

Need more ha ha haiku? Click here :)